Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
