On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
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