It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
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