The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
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