It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
I am available for nakedness
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
