my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Randomize
