Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
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