I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
He better not be in your backpack
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Randomize
