No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
