you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize