you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
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