This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
