I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
