I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
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