this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
