the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
