so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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