3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Randomize
