I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Randomize
