She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
