I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Randomize
