Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Randomize
