I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize