i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
