He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
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