Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Randomize
