I like to think it a success when the cops are called
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Randomize
