no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Randomize
