I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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