how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
