we're blogging at a bar
I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize