Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Randomize
