I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize
