OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
