i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
Sacagawea was the original milf.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
there is glitter all over my balls
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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