what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
Randomize
