once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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