I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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