If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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