I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
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