Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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