Her vagina should come with caution tape.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
