R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize
