He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
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