im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize