That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
