Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Randomize
