I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
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