the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
My breasts were aching with rage.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
Im part way to drunk.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
Randomize
