Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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