we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Even my vagina gasped.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
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