Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Randomize
