Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
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