i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
I just want nice things and good sex
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Randomize
