I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
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