I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
