dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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