I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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