I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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