dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
