Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
