what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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