I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
I'm getting married
To pizza
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
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