But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
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