i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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