A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Randomize