dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
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