he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
No subtext here. People are naked.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Randomize
