She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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